Myspace and My space

Having survived domestic violence I continue to struggle with the effects of the anxiety and panic that I grew accustomed to. I always had struggled with anxiety even as a child. I've come to understand the 'why' of this. There is a term for this I hear from therapists and books - it's called PTSD. There are methods and even medications one can take for the symptoms of PTSD, anxiety and panic attacks.

I find that reading the Bible has helped me the most. Beyond that, I find that hiding was not helping me. I have stayed hidden and though I've come out and started writing and speaking about my story and the story of my sons I still must remain cautious as my abuser is still present in my life - not by choice of my own. The courts deemed it appropriate and necessary for this man to continue to have visitation and joint legal rights to his children. Therefore, I have to take the necessary precautions to protect my safety and the safety of my sons.

With that accounted for, I found that only sharing my story with those closest to me and my counselor was not affording me a real world perspective nor was it getting the light on the system's limitations in protecting those subject to abuse. My being silent to the world was not offering others who are facing what I have faced an empathetic ear or additional support. It was also not affording me full recovery. There remained the similar characteristic of isolation even though I have been almost two years separated from my abuser.

Recovery is a process and everything in its own time comes to be. I'm grateful God has guided me through the most difficult times in my life and I am living to tell my story. I pray this makes a difference in someone else's life now too! I'm no longer simply staying in my space - I've gone public as I came to realize I was hiding too well. I now have a myspace site too. Join me there as well for additional information and blogging. You'll find me at My1Savior.